Take The Road Less Traveled.

If you've never taken a road trip, by yourself - My advice is to plan one and leave as soon as possible.

I've always been wildly independent at heart... and there's a small part of me still deeply grieving that I haven't held true to the nature of my spirit consistently throughout the years. I often feel like a liar or a fake when I look back on the years of my life, knowing that I haven't always stayed true to who I am or haven't worked to follow the dreams and aspirations that are so near to my heart. While there may be absolutely nothing wrong with following a conventional lifestyle, I honestly felt like I was suffocating myself with obligations, false pretenses of success and was completely unhappy with feeling so tied down. There came a time when I just couldn't do it anymore and had to move into a space where I could breathe life back into my identity. I had to live the authentic life that had been waiting for me.

Now the one thing that no one likes to talk about is the fact that everything we do, every choice that we make comes at a price. We like to focus on the luster of following our dreams, when the reality is that it's often much more complex. For me, I knew I would never be able to live the life that was calling me while still keeping everything that I had worked for in the years prior. I knew I would have to dismantle a good portion of my current life, and as I began sorting out the pieces, my marriage quickly fell into an unsalvageable category. If I ever wanted to pursue the life that I so badly wanted to be brave enough to live, I was going to have to leave my husband. The price that I would pay was going to be monumental and would come with a series of judgement, ridicule, guilt and a tremendous amount of loss both financially and emotionally. But the bottom line is that I was already completely dead inside. At some point it didn't matter how much I would lose, because in my heart of hearts, I had already lost everything in losing my authentic self. There wasn't an ounce of pride in walking away from my commitment, but I had a clear understanding that the price I would pay in staying, would be far greater than picking up the pieces and following this aching cry in my heart to come back to myself.

Perhaps the long awaited spark of life that came after leaving that life was when I took a road trip halfway across the country. My brother was in need of some help for a few weeks and the timing was almost perfect to put some distance between me and my past. As I had only been separated from my husband for about a month or so, I was completely immersed with all of the non-glorious tasks that come from the not-so-fun event of dismantling a life where you feel more like a stranger than the center of the show. Through the mounds of paperwork, preparing the house for sale and endless nights of self reflection, I really had to rely on the faith in myself and my heart's focus for freedom and authenticity. The week leading up to my departure was literally filled with court dates, movers, realtors and a whole fleet of emotional stress.

And then, I left. From Colorado to one of the most Northern points in Washington State, it was just me and my 13 year old, blind, diabetic dog named Diesel.

Little did I know, life was waiting for me, somewhere between the flats of Southwest Wyoming and slamming through gears to my favorite music in the canyons of Utah. There was this point when I suddenly acknowledged that I remember so concretely who I am, unapologetic and proud of myself for living out my truth and absolutely capable of relying on myself regardless of the road traveled. And that's when something incredible happened... I fell in love with myself once again.

Now, there's this interesting thing about being on the road by yourself. In a sense you remove a certain amount of "safety nets" and comfort that you're accustomed to in every day life. You take the risk that anything can happen, rely on your own intuition, and accept the fact that there's about a million scenarios of how things will go that is far beyond your control. It's in this acceptance in letting go of control, where freedom can be found. It's knowing that living in the present moment is where the thrill of life exists and that the whole world of possibilities are right at your fingertips. It's in these moments that you can look at yourself as a creator of your own life, inspired by the quietness and space of opportunity that seems to surround you.

Of course, as in life, it wouldn't be a proper road trip without some hangups along the way. The hotel that Diesel and I stayed at for our first night had a fire alarm issue and the sirens were going off intermittently for about 3 hours. There was a ton of construction along the way, and I learned my lesson on drinking way too many energy drinks when I felt like my heart was going to skip right out of my chest whilst trying to sleep. But I will say, that I am so incredibly proud of my old dog, a road warrior at heart that handled road tripping like a seasoned champ. Aside from hours on end in the car, he ate breakfast and dinner in several gas station parking lots, willingly letting me give him his insulin shot in constant changing environments. He is now known as my road dog and even took a visit to the beach for the first time - in his shark costume. As I held him at the ocean, telling him all about the things he couldn't see, it dawned on me that it's never too late to experience new adventures and that all the hangups in life are worth it. I sat with my dog and cried a mix of grief and gratitude for second chances and the beauty in experiencing life.

I'll leave you with this. I've come to believe that we often take the easy road, following the path where opportunities are simply presented and things just seem to fit. We solidify our decisions with the "it's just meant to be" or "when one door closes another opens" kind of mentality. But what if we were wrong? What if the difficult path, the one that you've always wanted to take but shy away from because it just looks too hard or lonely, is the one that offers the most reward?

Personally, I will forever live my life breaking down closed doors if that means staying true to myself, my passions and my authenticity. If nothing good ever comes easy, perhaps this universe has a way of testing us - offering an easy route - and it's in our personal right of refusal that we're greatly rewarded when we take the road less traveled. We learn to live daringly in the fullest life possible. There has been absolutely nothing easy in the move away from my stable life into this journey, but I can honestly say that amazing moments happen when we stay true to who we are and follow our personal truth. And it's only just beginning.

For those of you just joining me on this journey, make sure you don't miss out on all the adventure by following me on:

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